The Journey Forward
by Allura99
Summary: Continuation of A Hero's Journey. The Blood Moon faction has been taken down but the aftermath still lingers. Life moves ever forward. Parts 9-13 now up.
1. Part 1

Part 1

* * *

Author's Note: This is a continuation of my previous Gundam Wing story "A Hero's Journey." You may want to be familiar with that story before reading this one. Also, in keeping with "A Hero's Journey," the chapters will be short.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, its wonderful characters, etc. I'm merely borrowing them for my story. Please don't sue.

* * *

Relena watched the wind race through the flowers of the garden, trying to lose herself in the tranquility of the scene. Quatre had brought her to one of his estate in a temperate climate. He had feared the harshness of the desert would not be conducive to her recovery, but she knew he was missing the sands.

She sighed. Quatre was another person she was indebted to. And like the others, he would be offended if she were to hint that she wanted to repay him for his kindness. "Knowing that you are safe, Miss Relena, is all that I need," he had said. He repeated the sentiment each time he thought she would express gratitude.

But safe was a relative term. She knew that nothing would physically harm her while she was in Quatre's care. Mentally was another story.

Dr. Moorehead was doing her best in that regard. She spent hours in therapy sessions with Relena, discussing her nightmares and trying to draw out what happened during the kidnapping. The drugs were supposed to help. Yet the nightmares still occurred and the medication left her feeling like her thoughts were wrapped in cotton.

Both Quatre and Dr. Moorehead warned her not to give up. Things would get better with time, they promised. Relena wanted to believe them.

But each day was like the one before it. She would watch Quatre eat breakfast before meeting with Dr. Moorehead. She would have a break, pretend to eat lunch, and then return for more therapy. Dinner would be a quiet affair, after which she would go to bed to face the nightmares.

She heard the balcony doors open behind her. It must be time for lunch but she had no appetite. Yet she would go down for Quatre's sake. It was the least she could do for him.

Relena turned around and then froze. She wasn't sure if she had lapsed into a dream or a nightmare. It was too soon to tell.

Heero Yuy closed the door behind him. "Hello, Relena."


	2. Part 2

Part 2

Heero could feel Quatre's eyes on him as he closed the door behind him. Relena turned at the sounds. Yet whatever she had to say was quickly forgotten as she stared at him.

Never one to loose an advantage, he used the opportunity to study her.

She was much too thin. He noticed that directly. While she had always been slender, her cheeks were now hollow and her clavicles were too prominent.

Relena was pale, too. Usually her ivory skin glowed with life. Now it had a sickly gray tinge to it.

But it was her eyes that bothered him the most.

The blue-green eyes that lighted up whenever she saw him were dull. They were lifeless. Her expression was defeated and resigned.

And that was what bothered him.

In all the years that he had been acquainted with her, Relena had never given up fighting. Yes, she was a pacifist. Yes, she worked for peace for Earth and the colonies.

But she fought to achieve her goals.

Relena chose to fight with words, diplomacy, and connections.

He flexed his hands slightly. These were the weapons he used for most of his life. "Hello, Relena."

She gave a ghost of a smile as she said, "Hello, Heero."

They fell back into silence but it was easier now. They stood facing each other on the balcony as the wind played around them. He looked her in the eye and she didn't look away.

That gave him hope.


	3. Part 3

Part 3

Relena leaned back against the balcony, keeping her eyes on Heero. It seemed so unreal that he was there. She placed a hand on the warm stone to keep herself anchored to reality.

She kept waiting for him to say something, anything. She hoped for some clue as to why he was there. But he kept looking at her, almost studying her. She knew that she should be unnerved but couldn't summon the emotion.

"Quatre should be here soon," she announced. She gripped the balcony. "Does he know you're here?"

"He knows." His voice was even, betraying no emotion.

"So that's why," she murmured.

"Why?" he echoed.

"Why he hasn't come yet." She smiled but the expression didn't reach her eyes. "He's giving us a moment alone. So considerate of him."

She watched the wind play with his hair. He seemed oblivious to the strands dancing in front of his eyes. He merely continued to watch her.

"You haven't asked me yet, Heero."

She caught a hint of confusion in his gaze. "Asked you what?"

"How I'm doing."

"I want to determine that myself."

"And your conclusion?"

He remained silent.

She wasn't surprised. She felt very little. Eventually she pulled her eyes away from his face and back to the garden. She didn't know how long they stayed that way before the doors opened.

"Lunch is ready," Quatre announced. "Would you please follow me to the dining room?"

Relena glanced briefly at Heero before following Quatre back inside. The Perfect Soldier only lingered a moment. Then he closed the doors behind him as he entered the house.


	4. Part 4

Part 4

Relena got up to go to her session with Dr. Moorehead. That left Quatre and Heero alone in the dining room. The room quickly fell back into silence.

Quatre glanced at Relena's plate. She had only eaten about half of her food. However, it was the most she had eaten in weeks.

If this was the only effect of Heero's presence, he wished the former 01 pilot had showed sooner.

"Let me show you to your room," Quatre said, rising to his feet. Heero merely stared. "You are staying, aren't you?"

Heero continued to stare for a moment before nodding. "Affirmative."

"Good," Quatre stated, trying to hide his sigh of relief. "Follow me, please."

He led Heero through the house. He pointed out various things like the kitchen and the library. Upstairs, he showed Heero a guest room with an adjoining bathroom.

"If you need anything, please let me know," Quatre said. "My room is at the end of this wing. Relena's room is two doors down from here."

Heero made no comment. Quatre smiled. He would have been surprised otherwise.

"Relena will be with Dr. Moorehead for most of the afternoon. I usually use this time to check up on things in my office. I'll leave you to settle in."

Heero merely nodded. Quatre shut the door behind him but lingered in the hallway. He didn't know what to make of the other man's sudden arrival.

But he was grateful for it.


	5. Part 5

Part 5

"Duo, we're going to be late!"

He gave the bolt another turn. With a sigh, he slid back out from underneath his latest project. He smiled as he looked up at his wife. "Hey, babe."

"Don't 'hey, babe' me, Duo Maxwell," Hilde fumed. The tip of her cane tapped against the cement floor of the garage. "We're going to be late for my appointment and you're filthy."

He hopped to his feet. "Two seconds," he promised. He disappeared into the bathroom.

"I'll be in the truck," she called.

The sound of her cane faded in the distance. He quickly shucked out of his coveralls, glad to find his shirt and pants still clean underneath. Hilde would have to make do with his work boots.

He studied his face in the old mirror as he scrubbed the oil and grime from his hands. He had a streak of oil across his jaw. Mindful of his shirt, he scrubbed it off as well.

Reeking of strong soap, he joined Hilde in the trunk. "I'm sorry. I lost track of time," he said as he cranked the engine. With a groan, it came to life.

She sighed. "I know, Duo."

He carefully backed out. With a screech of gears, he shifted and the truck began to move forward. Soon they were on the street leading to the hospital.

"I'm really sorry, babe."

She took his hand. "I'm sorry for being so snappish."

"You were being snappish?" he asked but his innocent expression failed.

Hilde laughed. "Yes, and you don't deserve it."

She eyed her cane. "I'm just so frustrated. Everything's such an ordeal with this cane. I want to be able to be able to help you and the guys with the big projects instead of being stuck in the office all the time."

"Everything will be back to normal soon," he promised, squeezing her hand. "Everyone has noticed how much you're improving. Just be patient a little longer, Hilde."

They arrived in the parking lot. Hilde took a deep breath. "Easy for you to say," she muttered.

Duo pretended he didn't hear that as he got of the truck.


	6. Part 6

Part 6

Duo escorted Hilde into the physical therapy center. Her cane echoed against the tile floor. Her mood darkened further.

The therapist seemed to sense Hilde's mood immediately. Her usually chipper demeanor became more subdued. "Good morning," she greeted.

"Hello, Rachel," Hilde said, forcing a smile. Duo's smile was a little more genuine.

"I wanted to let you know that we have students here today," Rachel stated. "If you don't mind, a student can work with us today. However, if you are uncomfortable, please say so."

"No, no, a student will be fine." Hilde turned and kissed Duo on the cheek. "See you in an hour."

He knew better than to argue with her. He squeezed her hand. "Sure thing."

She watched him leave. With a sigh, she turned to Rachel. "Okay, let's get started."

Hilde gritted her teeth as she worked her weak leg. She could feel the sweat forming on her forehead. She wondered how long they had been at but didn't dare look at the clock.

Melanie, the student, was seated at Hilde's hip. She was watching every move made by both Hilde and Rachel. "Okay, only three left! Two! One! Wow, you did it!"

Hilde bit her lip to stop herself from lashing out at the bubbly student. Rachel quickly sent Melanie after some unneeded equipment. Therapist and patient exchanged looks as Hilde moved to sit up.

"I know she's a little over-eager," Rachel said. "She's just excited to finally be able to work with patients."

"It's okay, really." Hilde glanced at the peppy Melanie. "She's really nice. I'm sure patients will love her."

"I've got the equipment," Melanie announced.

"Good. Why don't you just set it down for now," Rachel asked, taking a place at Hilde's feet. "Watch me as I help Hilde with the next set of exercises."

Hilde panted, sweated, and silently swore as she went through the different exercises. She was relieved when Rachel said they were working on the last set. It spurred Hilde to work harder.

"Excellent work today, Hilde," Rachel stated. "You're really making progress."

"Oh, is that your husband?" Melanie asked.

Hilde glanced at the doorway. Duo allowed the door to close behind him as he searched the room for her. He grinned when he found her.

"So, when are you going to try again?" Melanie asked.

"Try what again?" Hilde asked absently. She grudgingly accepted Rachel's help to get to her feet. Duo was walking quickly across the room towards her.

"Try for another baby."


	7. Part 7

Part 7

Wufei barely glanced at Sally as she entered the office the two shared. He immediately returned his attention to his phone call. She rolled her eyes as his back turned to her.

"Right," he said, writing on a sheet of paper. He didn't acknowledge her as she set the cup of coffee on his desk on her way to hers. "Understood."

Sally settled into her chair and took a sip of her coffee as she waited for the computer to come back to life. She was determined to have her report finished by the end of the day. Her other paperwork would have to wait.

Wufei finished his phone call without saying goodbye. Sally stopped typing and peered over the monitor at him. He was throwing on his jacket.

"Going somewhere?"

He shot her a glare. He stuffed the sheet of paper he had been writing on in his pocket. Seeing nothing out on his desk, he walked out of the office.

'What is he up to?' she wondered, staring at the closed door.

For weeks now, Wufei had been receiving phone calls and messages that he kept from her. He would suddenly leave the office or be gone for days at a time without any explanation. He would tell her to mind her own business or to focus on their work.

'What is he hiding? And why hide it from me? I thought we were partners.'

Clearly he didn't trust her. Had he ever trusted her at all? Or had he merely put up with her on Une's orders?

It was not a happy thought. She quickly finished her report and printed it out. She would drop it off as she headed to Une's office.


	8. Part 8

Part 8

* * *

"Come in."

Sally opened the door and entered Une's office. Her superior turned from the window. She gestured for Sally to have a seat.

"Hello, Sally," Une said as she settled back behind her desk. "I take it that this is not a social visit."

"No, it's not. I want another assignment."

Une studied her for a moment. "I must admit that I have been waiting for this."

"You have?"

"I realize what a difficult partner Wufei can be. May I ask what prompted this?"

"He doesn't trust me," Sally said. "Therefore, I can't trust him."

"I understand." Une pulled up a file on her computer, scanning the information quickly. "You'll have to work alone for a time until I can find partners for each of you."

"I understand." Sally rose to her feet. "I would ask that Wufei not be told of this until the new partners are available."

Une frowned. "If you think that is best, Sally."

"I do."

"Very well." She watched as Sally opened the door. "He isn't going to like this."

Sally paused. "I know," she said quietly. Without glancing back, she left the office.


	9. Part 9

Part 9

* * *

"What about your dreams disturb you?"

Relena sighed as she tried to settle deeper into the couch. However, it wasn't very comfortable. "I don't remember."

"Anything at all?" Dr. Moorehead prompted.

"No."

The psychiatrist made a quick note on her pad. She waited for a long moment before asking, "How are you doing with your medication?"

"I'm taking it."

"That wasn't what I asked."

"It is not stopping the nightmares."

"I thought you didn't remember your dreams."

"I don't remember much," Relena amended.

"Then what do you remember?"

Relena closed her eyes. She could see the gun in her hand. There was a brief flash of muzzle fire. The life fading from dark eyes as the leader fell to the floor.

"A lot of noise," she said quietly. "It all happened so fast."

A clock chimed quietly. Relena gave a silent sigh of relief. Composing herself, she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the couch.

Dr. Moorehead studied her closely for a moment. "I think we made some progress today."

Relena merely looked at her.

"We will resume our work tomorrow," the older woman continued. She rose and crossed the room to the door. As she opened it, she surprised to find a dark-haired young man in the hall.

Seeing the man, Relena froze. She and the man exchanged a look before he gave a slight nod and moved on. Relena was slightly flushed as she went in the opposite direction to her room.

Closing the door after Relena, the psychiatrist made a mental note to ask Mr. Winner about his new houseguest.


	10. Part 10

Part 10

* * *

Her index finger glided over the trigger while her other fingers slid easily into the grooves of the butt of the gun. Its weight was comforting as she raised her arm. It felt like it belonged in her hand.

She aimed it at the leader's chest. She would not let him kill Heero. Relena pulled the trigger. She watched him fall to the floor, watched his eyes close for the final time, and watched him take his last breath with complete detachment.

"I didn't know it could be so easy," she stated. "It was so easy."

"Give me the gun, Relena."

She glanced from the body of the leader to Heero to the gun. It looked so right in her hand. "No."

She glanced back to the leader. But now it was Quatre who was dead at her feet. Her hand shook as she stared in horror at the body of her dead friend. "Is he dead?" she asked, panic creeping into her voice.

"Yes." Heero moved closer to her. "Relena, give me the gun."

"No," she cried, closing her eyes. When she opened them, it was Noin who was now dead. Her sister's-in-law pale face was a study in agony. Her gray eyes were haunting as they stared blankly up at Relena in accusation.

"Give me the gun, Relena."

"No," she whispered as sobs began to rake her body. Milliardo took Noin's place at her feet. One hand was stretched out toward her as if begging her to stop. But she hadn't stopped. She had fired the gun anyway.

She had killed him. She had killed them all. Who would she kill next?

"Now, Relena," Heero ordered, grabbing the gun.

"No!" she cried. Then the gun fired. She watched in horror as a hole appeared in Heero's chest. For a moment, everything froze. Then blood began to pour from the hole, creating a red river down his shirt. Falling to the floor, he gasped her name.

"NO!" This couldn't be happening. She had done it to protect him, to save him. Now she had killed him. She had killed her brother. She had killed them all.

She had killed. She had taken a life, now lives. She was a murderer.

Red blood was on her hands, coating her hands. The sick sweet metallic smell overwhelmed her. Blood was all around her and on her and in her.

She had killed.

The gun was still in her hand, now warm in her hand. It felt alive in her hand. It begged her to be used.

She had killed.

She had just wanted to protect Heero. The leader was going to kill him and then her. She would give her life to save Heero. Her morals should be an easy sacrifice.

She had killed.

The gun was still in her hand. Blood was everywhere. It had been so easy to spill.

"I didn't know it was so easy," she whispered.

"So easy," a voice groaned. "Look, Relena, at what you have done."

She was compelled to look down at her feet and there was Quatre. Though dead, he glared at her in accusation. "Look at what you've done, Relena!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"You're sorry?" Noin mocked, taking Quatre's place. "Sorry changes nothing, Relena!"

"But I'm sorry," she protested. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"You have soiled the Peacecraft name," Milliardo stated, pulling away from her disgust. "You, the beacon of pacifism, have killed. Hypocrite!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Look at what you've done!" Heero ordered, suddenly standing before her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the hole in his chest. No more blood emerged from the dark spot in his pale, cold skin. "You did this."

"I didn't mean to," she whispered, tears blurring her vision. "I was trying to protect you."

"But you didn't. You killed me. You did this!"

"I didn't mean to."

"Murderer!"

"I'm sorry!" She was sobbing openly now. "I'm sorry."

"Murderer!" The voices of Quatre, Noin, and Milliardo now joined Heero's in the cry. "Murderer!"

Again she raised the gun. She fired it again and again, now willfully shooting her friends. Anything to stop their voices, their accusations. "I'm sorry!" she cried with each shot.

But the voices continued. "Murderer! Hypocrite! Liar!"

"I'm sorry!" Falling to her knees, she cradled the gun to her chest. Her friends began to circle her, pointing cold, dead fingers at her as they continued their horrible chant. "I'm so sorry!"

Then she turned the gun on herself.


	11. Part 11

Part 11

* * *

With shaky legs, Relena got out of bed. Memories of the nightmare still clouded her vision as she clumsily made her way to the window. She pressed her face against the cool glass, willing the remnants of the nightmare away.

She could still feel the weight of the gun in her hand. It was almost as if the cool metal was still against her skin. She shook out her hand, trying to rid herself of the sensation. But it lingered.

She debated trying to go back to sleep. But the prospect of tossing and turning until dawn was quickly rejected. She couldn't spend yet another night that way.

With practiced ease, she silently made her way into the hall. She made her way to first floor, pausing at the foot of the stairs. After a moment's hesitation, she turned to the right and headed toward the back of the house.

Moonlight streamed in through the floor-length windows, bathing the room in ethereal light. In the distance, she could see an occasional glimmer of moonlight on the river. She leaned against the window casing and just watched the water.

Yet even in this peaceful setting she couldn't relax. The nightmare still lingered in her mind, hovering just beneath her thoughts. She could not let it go.

She had killed.

She had willfully taken another person's life. Given the circumstances, she would make the same decision again. She would still kill the leader to save Heero.

But how could she find balance now? She was a pacifist who had killed. How could she lead the struggle for peace with blood on her hands?

"Hypocrite," she murmured.

"No, you're not."

She turned from the window. Heero stood at the door, watching her. How quickly she had forgotten that he was there. "Aren't I?"

"No."

"No, in your eyes, I'm sure I'm not." She immediately regretted her words. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"No," she said, shaking her head, "it was uncalled for. I shouldn't have said it. I apologize."

They fell back into silence. She went back to watching the river. But she stayed very conscious of Heero's presence at her side.


	12. Part 12

Part 12

* * *

Quatre glanced at the window, noting that the eastern horizon was brightening. It was midday in Baharat and almost time for the conference call. If he missed the appointment, his company would lose one of its key suppliers.

He was going over the various points of negotiation as he made his way down the hall. Out of habit, he paused outside Relena's door. He was surprised to find it cracked open. He waited but heard nothing from inside the room.

When he peeked inside, he saw that Relena was still sleeping. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was thankful that his friend was able to find some rest. He had heard her pacing the house most of the night for weeks now.

Maybe she would continue to improve. Perhaps she would even heal. He would continue to hope.


	13. Part 13

Part 13

* * *

Hilde glanced at the doorway. Duo allowed the door to close behind him as he searched the room for her. He grinned when he found her.

"So, when are you going to try again?" Melanie, the student asked.

"Try what again?" Hilde asked absently. She grudgingly accepted Rachel's help to get to her feet.

"Try for another baby."

Hilde almost let go of Rachel's hand. She yelped in pain as most of her weight fell on her injured leg. Rachel quickly righted her but Hilde's eyes stayed on the student. "Baby?"

Duo took her other hand. "Hilde, babe, are you all right?"

"What do you mean 'try for another baby'?" Hilde demanded.

Melanie stepped back. "I'm sorry. I have confused you with someone else."

But as she turned to Duo, Hilde knew that there was no mistake. The pain in his eyes was unmistakable. "We were having a baby?"

He nodded.

"Oh, God." Duo reached for her and she fell against his chest with a sob.

They had been trying for so long. They had kept hoping against hope despite the doctor's advice. And it had finally happened, only to be taken away.

"A baby. Our baby."

"I'm so sorry, Hilde," he said into her hair. "I'm so sorry."


End file.
